Ready or not, empty nest
is in her future
Published
The
countdown has begun. There are about 345 days left before my daughter graduates
from high school.
Other mothers warned me her childhood would seem to pass quickly. But, of
course, I didn't believe them. Time seems to stand still when you are going
through the temper tantrums associated with the terrible 2s, the sleepless
nights that come with too-frequent ear infections, the occasional
parent-teacher conferences scheduled to correct misbehavior and the plethora of
conflicts, misunderstandings and mood swings associated with puberty.
Special moments must accelerate the passage of time. And, yes, there are also
plenty of those in the world of motherhood: kindergarten graduations,
middle-school orchestra concerts, good report cards, glowing teacher comments,
student-government campaigns and victories, first dates, homecoming games and
dances, debutante balls, school plays, musicals and more.
Now that my 17-year-old daughter is about to embark on the pinnacle year of her
high-school experience, I can't help but feel happy -- and sad.
I'm happy she has made it this far without many mishaps. I'm happy she was
elected senior class vice president, plans to participate in the concert choir
and is looking forward to homecoming, prom, baccalaureate
and, of course, graduation.
It's what comes next that saddens me. I'm just not ready for my only child to
leave the nest.
Though
"That's not happening," she said when I broached the subject as she
filled out a form to take the SAT. I wasn't surprised by her response, but I
must admit it stung. We mothers are weird. We can't wait for our children to
grow up and take care of themselves. And yet, we long for the days when they
were young enough to need us for nearly everything.
During the recent induction ceremony for student government officers, my
daughter's principal best described my feelings. He referred to the ceremony as
a "happy-sad" moment. He was happy to welcome the new officers, sad
to see the graduating officers go.
There are many happy-sad moments to come for me during the next 11 months. The
student government induction ceremony was the first. My daughter's first day of
summer school last week was the next. This week, senior pictures for her
yearbook were taken -- I almost lost it when I saw her dressed in a cap and
gown. And in the next few weeks, she will head out of town twice for student
leadership workshops, giving me a taste (albeit brief) of an empty nest.
At this rate, I'm going to be a basket case by the time school opens on Aug. 9.
Years ago, I didn't expect to become this emotional about my daughter's
high-school graduation. I tend not to get weepy about such things. That's why
the empty-nest syndrome was not supposed to affect me. I'm too stoic for that -- or so I thought.
As the days leading up to graduation tick away, my stoicism is waning. I'm
trying to be a good mommy bird, but I can't help but struggle with the idea of
pushing my baby bird from the nest.
Though she's ready to fly on her own, I can't bear to see her go.
Tammy L. Carter can be reached at tcarter@orlandosentinel.com or
407-420-5223.