College wasted on the young
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Ah, college life -- it's wasted on the young
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By Susan Reimer
My fellow mothers
and I have recently returned from taking our freshmen to their prospective
colleges for orientation -- otherwise known as the reality check -- and we are
not reassured.
Never have we seen
a group of children so blasé about being supported in the style to which they
have become accustomed while living beyond our reach.
College is exactly
that: a kind of fully funded semi-adulthood with all of the freedoms and none
of the responsibilities. But for some reason, our children do not appear to be
excited about the prospect of not having to obey us for free.
Perhaps it is
because, after 12 years spent trapped in school buildings, they are burned out
on the process. My daughter Jessie said at one point on our tour, "God, I
am just so tired of this whole education thing."
Even the shopping
required for college -- a massive infusion of clothes and dorm-room accessories
-- doesn't seem to trigger much enthusiasm.
The reason might
be that, for most of these children, college is not a privilege or even a
choice. It is an expectation. It is a decision their parents made 18 years ago
when they bought that first savings bond to pay for it.
These feelings of
ambivalence have not infected the parents, however.
These orientation
sessions are trips down memory lane for parents, most of whom
went to college and, with the help of selective memory, now consider it the
best four years of their lives.
Our goofy
enthusiasm contrasts sharply with the bored looks on the faces of our children.
And our amusing anecdotes about college pranks, adventures and the deprivations
of student poverty seem to require translation if they are to be understood.
One thing is
clear. We wish it were us. And the appeal goes beyond the freedom to read and
study things about which we are now curious. We like everything about college.
We like the idea
of trading a van or a station wagon, cluttered with family junk and waiting to
drop its transmission, for a backpack and a bicycle.
We like the idea
of keeping house in only half a dorm room, instead of three full floors. We
love the idea that a staff cleans the bathrooms.
We like the idea
of eating in a cafeteria instead of running a cafeteria. We don't care about
the reputation of the food. Everything tastes good if you don't have to cook
it.
We love the idea
of an
We don't even mind
coin-operated washers and dryers, because the only laundry we will be doing
will be ours, and it will actually be dirty instead of simply cast aside.
We love the idea
of artsy movies and high-brow lecturers and visiting ballet troupes. We like
the idea that we will be required to read books. No more feeling guilty about
time not spent on chores.
And we would be so
grateful that any homework will be ours, and if we don't do it, we will have
only ourselves to blame for the consequences.
Not only would we
enjoy all the ways the life of a single college student would differ from the
life of the head of a household, we would appreciate it this time around.
We would drink in
every drop of knowledge -- and not a few beers -- and we would sleep late on
weekends.
No doubt about it.
If youth is wasted on the young, then college certainly is, too.
Susan Reimer is a
columnist for The (